ACCESSORIES | Martin Feekins
Geoffrey hung his trilby and topcoat in the hallway. It was good to be home. The aroma of the roast beef joint he would soon be carving wafted from the kitchen, where June was rustling up another exquisite family meal. Subdued voices drifted from the kitchen; June, listening to a radio play. Louder voices came from the living room.
"You're cheating."
"Am not. You don't understand the rules, because you're a girl."
Johnny and Janey play-fighting over a board game.
Geoffrey thought himself a lucky man, but really, he told himself, luck had nothing to do with it. It was about being clever, and he was clever to have created such a perfect family, an ideal home, a wonderful life.
It was 1959 and the world was rosy.
He picked up a brown paper bag he had brought in from the car, took a breath and said in a sing-song baritone:
"Hi honey, I'm home."
June stepped out of the kitchen, beaming, her beautiful, blonde hair flicked up at her shoulders. Beneath her lace-trimmed apron, she was wearing the A-line skirt he had bought her.
Johnny and Janey ran out of the living room. Janey skipped up to him, hands outstretched. Geoffrey swept her up in one arm and she planted a kiss on his cheek, at the same time trying to peer into the bag.
"Presents?" she said.
He put her down.
"For my little princess, of course," he said.
From the bag he pulled a tin tiara encrusted with glass rubies, emeralds and sapphires.
"A must-have for every princess," he said.
Janey angled the tiara so the glass sparkled in the light.
"Can I wear it now?" she asked.
"Of course, princess," he said. "But not at the supper table."
"Thank you, Daddy," she said and skipped away.
"Look, Mommy."
"It's lovely, darling," said June.
Janey returned to the living room, pushing the tiara into the blonde hair that made her look like a miniature of her mother.
Johnny, who at twelve was three years older than his sister, came forward as Geoffrey held out a box he had taken from the bag. On it was a picture of the model car inside.
"Wow, Dad, it's a Corvette," said Johnny.
"That's right, and if you work hard and apply yourself, one day you could be driving the real thing."
"Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome, son. Now, go play nice with your sister until supper's ready."
Geoffrey ruffled Johnny's hair. As Johnny took his present into the living room, Geoffrey followed June into the kitchen. She jumped playfully as he patted her ass.
"Bet you wonder what gift I've got for you," he said.
She turned and kissed him on the lips, pressed her body against his, hard enough for him to feel all its curves.
"You and this wonderful home and the beautiful children you have given me are all I need," she said.
"I know," he said, kissing her again. "But take a look in the carrier."
June gasped as she pulled out a handbag.
"Darling, it's a Bellestone! How did you know?"
"I know you love your accessories."
June turned the bag up to the light, much as Janey had with her tiara.
"It's lovely," she said. "I'll thank you properly later, but right now I have to finish preparing supper."
She shooed him out of the kitchen.
The roast was perfect and plentiful. Geoffrey stood at the head of the table, carving, June to his left and Johnny and Janey to his right. He could not have imagined a more perfect family.
He was so lost in revery that for a few seconds he failed to register the vibration in his pants’ pocket. When he did, it upset him. It had no place here.
"Darling, is everything all right?" said June. "I have cooked the roast properly, haven't I?"
Geoffrey ignored the vibration. It stopped.
"To perfection, as always, darling," he said.
He handed round the plates and everyone helped themselves to vegetables and gravy. He asked Johnny to say grace then they ate.
Conversation went back and forth, small talk about what was in the news, on the radio or television, or about games the children had played. On all questions, Geoffrey's wife and children deferred to him as head of the household. He took as much nourishment from that as from the food he had enabled June to put on their plates.
Fifteen minutes after the vibration in his pocket, there was a knock at the door. That did happen occasionally, even as secluded as the house was. Geoffrey always took care of it. But this time he felt a flutter or apprehension.
"I'll see who that is," he said, dabbing his lips with a napkin. "I'll be right back."
When Geoffrey opened the door, Sarah was through and into the hallway before he could say anything, let alone slam the door in her face, which is what he would have liked to do.
"I tried calling," she said. "Thought I'd give you a chance to avoid some of the embarrassment, but you didn't pick up, so here I am.
"So, this is where you've been when you told me you were at all those conferences and seminars and contract meetings."
"Not all of them," he said.
"Oh, that's all right then. You know, the crazy thing is I didn't suspect it was any of them until I found this."
She showed him a remote controller about the size of a chocolate bar.
"It was at the bottom of your sock drawer. I assume it's a spare."
"Please, Sarah, give that to me."
"I don't think so, Geoff."
Sarah took in the decoration and furnishings.
"This place looks like something from the 1950s," she said.
June came out of the dining room.
"Geoffrey, what's happening?" she said. "Who is this woman?"
"Oh, so it's Geoffrey here, is it?" said Sarah.
June backed off as Sarah approached her.
"June, it's nothing," said Geoffrey. "Sarah, please..."
Sarah saw Johnny and Janey's confused and frightened faces.
"Oh my god, you've got a while family of them," said Sarah. "And the whole scene really does look like it came out of the 'fifties. What on earth – oh wait, I get it..."
June was increasingly agitated.
"Geoffrey, please, tell me what's going on. Supper is getting cold."
Sarah guffawed.
"Oh, that's priceless," she said. "'Supper is getting cold'. That's fucking hilarious."
June exploded: "Get out of my house, whoever you are. I will not have language like that in front of my children."
"Not in front of the children?" said Sarah. "Not a problem."
She pointed the remote at Johnny and Janey and pressed a couple of buttons. The children slumped in their seats, silent and immobile.
"Geoffrey! What has she done to our children?"
June launched herself at Sarah, who held her comfortably at arm's length.
"They're just... asleep," said Sarah. "I'm not here to hurt you or them. Geoff is another matter. I think he owes us both an explanation. What do you say... Geoffrey?"
"Why don't you just switch her off and have done with it?" said Geoffrey.
"Because I think she deserves better. Where can we sit and talk?"
Geoffrey looked shrunken as he led them into the living room.
Geoffrey and June sat on a sofa, June clutching Geoffrey's hand. Sarah sat opposite them in an armchair.
"You might not want to hold his hand so tightly when you know the truth," said Sarah. "Still, all good things come to an end, eh, Geoff? And you've had this good thing for a long time. Love the bullet bra you've put her in, by the way. Does she wear just that for you in the bedroom, maybe that and the lacy apron I am sure is hanging up in the kitchen?"
Geoffrey looked like a boy whose porn stash had been discovered. Sarah laughed.
"Oh my god," said Sarah. "She does!"
"Who are you?" asked June.
"I'm Geoff's wife," said Sarah. "His flesh and blood wife."
"That's a lie," said June. "Geoffrey, who is this woman?"
Geoffrey slumped on the sofa, a defeated man.
"Shall I take this one, Geoff?" said Sarah.
Geoffrey groaned.
"Geoffrey here is a clever man," said Sarah. "In the field of bioengineering, he has no equal. Maybe it was his mind I fell in love with. Big mistake.
"Geoffrey is a man of science, which makes it difficult for him to operate as a member of the human race. He thought he wanted a home, wife, kids – oh yes, Geoff has a son and daughter, but I'm guessing they're a little feistier than your kids. Geoff didn't really want the reality, he wanted a wife to admire him, children to respect him. What Geoff wanted was accessories. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
"I want you to wake my children up and leave," said June.
"I will, soon. June, what year is it?"
"What? It's 1959, of course."
"And how long has it been 1959?"
"I don't understand..."
"Has it ever been anything expect 1959?"
"I..."
"What do you do when Geoffrey's not here?"
"I..."
"You don't remember, do you?"
"I... no."
"Do you ever leave this house?"
"Please, I... I can't... I don't..."
"June, Geoff made you. You're his creation. Very life-like – anatomically correct in every detail, I'd guess, eh, Geoff? – but basically a robot. Geoff can turn you on or off whenever he likes. Must be every man's dream. A goddess in the kitchen, a whore in the bedroom and you can switch her off once you're fed and... you know."
"None of this makes sense," said June. "Geoffrey, please explain."
Geoffrey managed a shrug.
"I'm sorry, June," said Sarah. "I'm not trying to hurt you, but listen. It's not 1959. It's more than fifty years after that. But Geoff has seen too many old TV shows and magazine adverts and he thinks this version of the 1950s really existed, a 1950s where the man was the breadwinner, the unchallenged head of the household, loved, admired and respected by his family. I doubt that world ever did exist, but if it did it shouldn't be recreated.
"There is a real world outside this house. I would show you. With the battery Geoff will have given you, you could last as long as any of us – and you'll never grow old, June. I can show you world where you're not an accessory, June. Come with me, have a look outside your front door."
June turned to the man who had made her.
"Geoffrey?" she said.
"Are you going to stop her, Geoff?" said Sarah.
Geoffrey looked from one woman to the other. All he had wanted was a little piece of perfection, but Sarah had ruined that. He gave a barely perceptible shake of his head.
Sarah held out a hand to June. After some hesitation, June took it. They left the room to collect Johnny and Janey.
Geoffrey watched from the window as Sarah, who he had not thought of as a wife for some time, led the family he had made for himself to her car. June and the kids looked around in confusion, but also wonder. Wonder, that was in their programming, but it was supposed to be directed towards him.
With a world of wonder out there, he doubted they would return to him. Sarah would want a divorce. It would cost him, but he would still have enough. He wandered through to the dining room. The roast was probably cold by now.
Six months later, Geoffrey hung his trilby and topcoat in the hallway.
He savoured his surroundings then let out a sing-song: "Hi honey, I'm home."
Joan stepped out of the kitchen, beaming, blonde and beautiful. Jacky and Jenny ran out of the living room to greet him. It was good to be home.
Geoffrey hung his trilby and topcoat in the hallway. It was good to be home. The aroma of the roast beef joint he would soon be carving wafted from the kitchen, where June was rustling up another exquisite family meal. Subdued voices drifted from the kitchen; June, listening to a radio play. Louder voices came from the living room.
"You're cheating."
"Am not. You don't understand the rules, because you're a girl."
Johnny and Janey play-fighting over a board game.
Geoffrey thought himself a lucky man, but really, he told himself, luck had nothing to do with it. It was about being clever, and he was clever to have created such a perfect family, an ideal home, a wonderful life.
It was 1959 and the world was rosy.
He picked up a brown paper bag he had brought in from the car, took a breath and said in a sing-song baritone:
"Hi honey, I'm home."
June stepped out of the kitchen, beaming, her beautiful, blonde hair flicked up at her shoulders. Beneath her lace-trimmed apron, she was wearing the A-line skirt he had bought her.
Johnny and Janey ran out of the living room. Janey skipped up to him, hands outstretched. Geoffrey swept her up in one arm and she planted a kiss on his cheek, at the same time trying to peer into the bag.
"Presents?" she said.
He put her down.
"For my little princess, of course," he said.
From the bag he pulled a tin tiara encrusted with glass rubies, emeralds and sapphires.
"A must-have for every princess," he said.
Janey angled the tiara so the glass sparkled in the light.
"Can I wear it now?" she asked.
"Of course, princess," he said. "But not at the supper table."
"Thank you, Daddy," she said and skipped away.
"Look, Mommy."
"It's lovely, darling," said June.
Janey returned to the living room, pushing the tiara into the blonde hair that made her look like a miniature of her mother.
Johnny, who at twelve was three years older than his sister, came forward as Geoffrey held out a box he had taken from the bag. On it was a picture of the model car inside.
"Wow, Dad, it's a Corvette," said Johnny.
"That's right, and if you work hard and apply yourself, one day you could be driving the real thing."
"Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome, son. Now, go play nice with your sister until supper's ready."
Geoffrey ruffled Johnny's hair. As Johnny took his present into the living room, Geoffrey followed June into the kitchen. She jumped playfully as he patted her ass.
"Bet you wonder what gift I've got for you," he said.
She turned and kissed him on the lips, pressed her body against his, hard enough for him to feel all its curves.
"You and this wonderful home and the beautiful children you have given me are all I need," she said.
"I know," he said, kissing her again. "But take a look in the carrier."
June gasped as she pulled out a handbag.
"Darling, it's a Bellestone! How did you know?"
"I know you love your accessories."
June turned the bag up to the light, much as Janey had with her tiara.
"It's lovely," she said. "I'll thank you properly later, but right now I have to finish preparing supper."
She shooed him out of the kitchen.
The roast was perfect and plentiful. Geoffrey stood at the head of the table, carving, June to his left and Johnny and Janey to his right. He could not have imagined a more perfect family.
He was so lost in revery that for a few seconds he failed to register the vibration in his pants’ pocket. When he did, it upset him. It had no place here.
"Darling, is everything all right?" said June. "I have cooked the roast properly, haven't I?"
Geoffrey ignored the vibration. It stopped.
"To perfection, as always, darling," he said.
He handed round the plates and everyone helped themselves to vegetables and gravy. He asked Johnny to say grace then they ate.
Conversation went back and forth, small talk about what was in the news, on the radio or television, or about games the children had played. On all questions, Geoffrey's wife and children deferred to him as head of the household. He took as much nourishment from that as from the food he had enabled June to put on their plates.
Fifteen minutes after the vibration in his pocket, there was a knock at the door. That did happen occasionally, even as secluded as the house was. Geoffrey always took care of it. But this time he felt a flutter or apprehension.
"I'll see who that is," he said, dabbing his lips with a napkin. "I'll be right back."
When Geoffrey opened the door, Sarah was through and into the hallway before he could say anything, let alone slam the door in her face, which is what he would have liked to do.
"I tried calling," she said. "Thought I'd give you a chance to avoid some of the embarrassment, but you didn't pick up, so here I am.
"So, this is where you've been when you told me you were at all those conferences and seminars and contract meetings."
"Not all of them," he said.
"Oh, that's all right then. You know, the crazy thing is I didn't suspect it was any of them until I found this."
She showed him a remote controller about the size of a chocolate bar.
"It was at the bottom of your sock drawer. I assume it's a spare."
"Please, Sarah, give that to me."
"I don't think so, Geoff."
Sarah took in the decoration and furnishings.
"This place looks like something from the 1950s," she said.
June came out of the dining room.
"Geoffrey, what's happening?" she said. "Who is this woman?"
"Oh, so it's Geoffrey here, is it?" said Sarah.
June backed off as Sarah approached her.
"June, it's nothing," said Geoffrey. "Sarah, please..."
Sarah saw Johnny and Janey's confused and frightened faces.
"Oh my god, you've got a while family of them," said Sarah. "And the whole scene really does look like it came out of the 'fifties. What on earth – oh wait, I get it..."
June was increasingly agitated.
"Geoffrey, please, tell me what's going on. Supper is getting cold."
Sarah guffawed.
"Oh, that's priceless," she said. "'Supper is getting cold'. That's fucking hilarious."
June exploded: "Get out of my house, whoever you are. I will not have language like that in front of my children."
"Not in front of the children?" said Sarah. "Not a problem."
She pointed the remote at Johnny and Janey and pressed a couple of buttons. The children slumped in their seats, silent and immobile.
"Geoffrey! What has she done to our children?"
June launched herself at Sarah, who held her comfortably at arm's length.
"They're just... asleep," said Sarah. "I'm not here to hurt you or them. Geoff is another matter. I think he owes us both an explanation. What do you say... Geoffrey?"
"Why don't you just switch her off and have done with it?" said Geoffrey.
"Because I think she deserves better. Where can we sit and talk?"
Geoffrey looked shrunken as he led them into the living room.
Geoffrey and June sat on a sofa, June clutching Geoffrey's hand. Sarah sat opposite them in an armchair.
"You might not want to hold his hand so tightly when you know the truth," said Sarah. "Still, all good things come to an end, eh, Geoff? And you've had this good thing for a long time. Love the bullet bra you've put her in, by the way. Does she wear just that for you in the bedroom, maybe that and the lacy apron I am sure is hanging up in the kitchen?"
Geoffrey looked like a boy whose porn stash had been discovered. Sarah laughed.
"Oh my god," said Sarah. "She does!"
"Who are you?" asked June.
"I'm Geoff's wife," said Sarah. "His flesh and blood wife."
"That's a lie," said June. "Geoffrey, who is this woman?"
Geoffrey slumped on the sofa, a defeated man.
"Shall I take this one, Geoff?" said Sarah.
Geoffrey groaned.
"Geoffrey here is a clever man," said Sarah. "In the field of bioengineering, he has no equal. Maybe it was his mind I fell in love with. Big mistake.
"Geoffrey is a man of science, which makes it difficult for him to operate as a member of the human race. He thought he wanted a home, wife, kids – oh yes, Geoff has a son and daughter, but I'm guessing they're a little feistier than your kids. Geoff didn't really want the reality, he wanted a wife to admire him, children to respect him. What Geoff wanted was accessories. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
"I want you to wake my children up and leave," said June.
"I will, soon. June, what year is it?"
"What? It's 1959, of course."
"And how long has it been 1959?"
"I don't understand..."
"Has it ever been anything expect 1959?"
"I..."
"What do you do when Geoffrey's not here?"
"I..."
"You don't remember, do you?"
"I... no."
"Do you ever leave this house?"
"Please, I... I can't... I don't..."
"June, Geoff made you. You're his creation. Very life-like – anatomically correct in every detail, I'd guess, eh, Geoff? – but basically a robot. Geoff can turn you on or off whenever he likes. Must be every man's dream. A goddess in the kitchen, a whore in the bedroom and you can switch her off once you're fed and... you know."
"None of this makes sense," said June. "Geoffrey, please explain."
Geoffrey managed a shrug.
"I'm sorry, June," said Sarah. "I'm not trying to hurt you, but listen. It's not 1959. It's more than fifty years after that. But Geoff has seen too many old TV shows and magazine adverts and he thinks this version of the 1950s really existed, a 1950s where the man was the breadwinner, the unchallenged head of the household, loved, admired and respected by his family. I doubt that world ever did exist, but if it did it shouldn't be recreated.
"There is a real world outside this house. I would show you. With the battery Geoff will have given you, you could last as long as any of us – and you'll never grow old, June. I can show you world where you're not an accessory, June. Come with me, have a look outside your front door."
June turned to the man who had made her.
"Geoffrey?" she said.
"Are you going to stop her, Geoff?" said Sarah.
Geoffrey looked from one woman to the other. All he had wanted was a little piece of perfection, but Sarah had ruined that. He gave a barely perceptible shake of his head.
Sarah held out a hand to June. After some hesitation, June took it. They left the room to collect Johnny and Janey.
Geoffrey watched from the window as Sarah, who he had not thought of as a wife for some time, led the family he had made for himself to her car. June and the kids looked around in confusion, but also wonder. Wonder, that was in their programming, but it was supposed to be directed towards him.
With a world of wonder out there, he doubted they would return to him. Sarah would want a divorce. It would cost him, but he would still have enough. He wandered through to the dining room. The roast was probably cold by now.
Six months later, Geoffrey hung his trilby and topcoat in the hallway.
He savoured his surroundings then let out a sing-song: "Hi honey, I'm home."
Joan stepped out of the kitchen, beaming, blonde and beautiful. Jacky and Jenny ran out of the living room to greet him. It was good to be home.